KerryAndGabe.com

For today…

Outside my window… the weather has been pretty clear, but a bit cooler than it was last week. I’m ready for Spring to come to stay.

I am thinking… that I should probably figure out the rest of the plans for Maddie’s birthday party (which is going to be the weekend after her birthday).

I am thankful for… baby Tylenol and baby Motrin. The last two weeks have been rough, but I can’t imagine how difficult that the days and especially nights would have been without meds for little Miss Maddie.

From the kitchen… Pork Loin tonight, probably. I always feel like we’re running out of options by Monday since we generally do our shopping mid-week for a week or so at a time.

I am wearing… my pajamas as I’m trying to write this before going to work this morning. Gabe and Maddie are still snoozing.

I am creating… Maddie’s photo-a-day photobook – still working on it. Obviously, I can’t finish it until after Friday. I can’t believe that her birthday is so soon!

I am going… to work after missing over a week due to Maddie’s flu. I’m hoping to make it through the day without Maddie getting sent home from daycare. Hopefully, she will have a good day (and I’ll be able to figure out what I was doing over a week ago).

I am reading… The Magician’s Assistant for the Mothers & More book club. I finished To Kill a Mockingbird last night for my regular book club. I hope to finish The Magician’s Assistant by March 10th.

I am hoping… that Maddie is over her illness and that Gabe and I don’t get the flu. We’ve both had colds, but I’m hoping that we’ve had the worst of it.

I am hearing… silence, mostly. Pretty much the only sounds I’m hearing are the clicking of my keys and the hum of the heat.

Around the house… it’s a disaster, as usual. At least I can blame Maddie these days, though most of the mess has nothing to do with her. The Little People and stacking cups strewn about the living room is mostly her. Mostly.

One of my favorite things… Our DVR. I guess we’d be very limited with the shows that we could watch if we didn’t have DVR (we’re finding that our TV viewing has become somewhat limited as it is…). I was very glad to have DVR in the newborn days, especially when I had to be awake for hours at a time in the middle of the night nursing Maddie.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Maddie’s 1st birthday is Friday. I can’t believe that I will be the mother of a one year old by the end of the week. Where does the time go?

Here is a picture thought I am sharing… My little toddler, taken yesterday afternoon.

To read more Daybook posts or learn how to participate, visit The Simple Woman’s Daybook.

It seems that I have written the longest letter to Maddie yet. I don’t expect that many of you are reading all of this! Oh well, at least I have posted some new photos! Hopefully, Maddie will enjoy reading the letters someday. (more…)

Madeline is 8 months old today, so it’s time for another letter to Maddie! I can’t believe how fast the time is passing. (more…)

Tonight, I was browsing through my notebook. The one that I used when Maddie was a newborn to keep track of her feedings, mostly. The one that I used to jot down fleeting thoughts and diaper information. I’m glad that I kept this notebook, and it really puts things in perspective, especially on a night like tonight! We had a rough time getting her to bed tonight, but nothing compares to the first few weeks. Everyone said it would be hard. Everyone said that we wouldn’t get any sleep. But nobody told us what life would be like with a colicky baby who refuses to sleep. Everyone mentioned the constant feedings, but it just didn’t register until it was time to do it. I think there’s no way to get it until you have the baby. And every baby is different, of course, so nobody can tell you what it is going to be like for you. I knew it was going to be hard, yet it was 100 times harder than anything I imagined. I had encountered sleep deprivation in the past, but I never experienced sleep deprivation for so many consecutive days. And pregnancy emotions are nothing compared to postpartum emotions, yikes! I had a few breakdowns in the early months.

To give you an idea of what I mean when I say that the baby demands constant feeding in the early days, I nursed Maddie a total of 19 times on February 25th – Maddie’s 4th full day. The total amount of time spent nursing was almost 7 hours. 7 hours! That time represents the amount of time that Maddie was actually latched on and does not take into account getting prepared or convincing her to latch or trying to get her awake enough to feed. It doesn’t take into account the diaper changes, which we had to do pretty much at every feeding and then some. Exhausting does not even begin to describe it.

So how did we survive? It had a little something to do with this little angel (this photo taken a few days after bringing her home – she’s so tiny!). Just one look at her, and suddenly it was all worth it.

Maddie turned 7 months yesterday. I wrote this letter late last night, but I wanted to take time to add the photos today. Enjoy this installment of the Letters to Maddie series. (more…)

Gabe and I recently took a trip to Whole Foods for one main purpose: to find non-dairy alternatives. You may find it surprising that the vast majority of commonly found “veggie” slices actually contain milk products. I’m avoiding dairy products since Maddie has a suspected dairy allergy (most likely she will grow out of this). The main issue with the dairy allergy is not lactose but with the milk proteins. The sneaky dairy found in many soy-based products is casein which accounts for the majority of proteins in milk and dairy. The milk proteins are not quickly digested, and remnants can stay in your system for weeks. This is why I’m not generally tempted by “just one piece of cheese.” I noticed some improvements in Maddie after several days of avoiding dairy with gradual improvements in the following weeks. It could potentially take weeks to recover from a dairy slip.

I was excited to try some vegan cheese alternatives. I had heard that some fake cheeses were pretty good! And I really miss cheese. I picked up two types – Galaxy Nutritional Foods’ Rice slices (Cheddar flavor – I meant to get American) and Vegan Rella’s Cheddar block cheese. I tried the Rice slices first, thinking if this is decent I could actually have grilled cheese! It was…OK at first, but it seemed to go downhill with the aftertaste and texture as I consumed the slice. Normally, I gobble up cheese slices and am ready for another, but I found it hard to find the will to continue after eating about half of the slice. Not horrible, but not good. Bad enough that I’d rather have no cheese-type product at all. I hoped that the Vegan Rella block would be better. I cut a small piece of it and gave it a try. YUCK! It was awful!

So the quest for fake cheese was a definite bust. I doubt that I will be willing to try any others unless I get a specific recommendation for a decent cheese alternative! More likely than not, I’ll just wait until I’m no longer nursing and then feast on cheese until my heart’s content. Some things just can’t be faked.

During my pregnancy, I was sometimes frustrated by all the “rules” that I had to follow when it came to certain foods. Since this was my first pregnancy, I was very diligent about what I ate and especially what I didn’t eat. I was supposed to avoid hot dogs, deli meats, soft cheeses, honey, herbal teas, and sushi (this one was not a problem!). Certain fish was to be avoided entirely, and others were supposed to be consumed in moderation. I generally avoided caffeine, save for about one Diet Coke or two each week. Most of the time, all of this wasn’t too big of an issue, but sometimes it was difficult like when we went out to eat or food options were limited. When we went to a few football games, I really wished that I could get a hot dog…something about stadiums and ballparks makes me want to consume a tasty hog dog!

Avoiding all these foods seemed like a big deal at times, but I think it pales in comparison to my new dietary restriction. We deduced that Maddie has what is hopefully a temporary dairy allergy. Not to be confused with lactose intolerance, this is an allergy to the protein in cow’s milk (not her Mommy’s milk). Maddie’s symptoms included irritability/colic, excessive gas, and diaper issues (I’ll spare you the details for now). We noticed improvements when I completely cut dairy out of my diet. This means no milk, butter, cream, cheese, yogurt, and more. Most chocolate, most desserts, and many breads are off limits.

I’ve been very strict with my diet as the milk protein can stay in my system for 4-6 weeks and then in Maddie’s system for an additional week or two. Due to this fact, I’m hesitant to trial dairy too often or too soon. For the most part, if I’m unsure about the exact ingredients, then I will avoid the food. I have had to make some exceptions when my options are limited, but even then I absolutely avoid obvious sources. My will power has been historically weak when it comes to food. It helps that this is an avoidance issue versus a moderation issue, but I also find it easier to do it when I know it is best for my daughter.

Some foods that contain dairy may surprise you. Go Dairy Free has been an excellent resource for me and has a list of sneaky dairy sources. I have found most chocolate (even dark chocolate) and potato chips tend to contain milk products. I have encountered deli meats with dairy, and even my favorite Herby Turkey at Bruegger’s Bagels has dairy in both the turkey AND the sundried tomato spread. Almost all breaded chicken products tend to have dairy. Lactose free milk is not safe. Surprisingly, the “veggie slices” of cheese in the grocery still contains casein, a sneaky milk product. Many soups, aside from the obvious creamy ones, are not safe. Fake soy-based meats tend to contain dairy as well. Most breads and other bakery items contain milk. I have learned to read ingredients very carefully!

It’s an interesting challenge, but it is worth it for the health of my baby (and the sanity of her parents)! I feel that breastfeeding is the best thing for her, so it isn’t all that hard to make the sacrifices. Plus, as I mentioned in my previous breastfeeding post, avoiding dairy has its own benefits. I definitely feel that I have lost my baby weight faster by avoiding cheese, creams, and most desserts. Gabe and I have definitely been eating healthier at home as a result. The amount of time that I have to make these sacrifices is really insignificant. Even if I nurse Maddie beyond her first year, most babies outgrow the allergy by the end of their first year.

I plan to post more on this topic with my experiences with avoiding dairy. I intend to post restaurant recommendations, recipes, and food alternatives that we have discovered.

Maddie is 6-months old today, so it’s time for another letter for the Letters to Maddie series. (more…)

Maddie will be 6 months old tomorrow, and I’m happy to say that she has been exclusively breastfed her entire life (no formula supplements). I feel very lucky that I can provide this for my baby. Breastfeeding has been going quite well, and I plan to continue at least through her first year. We have done a little rice cereal, and we intend to start more solids soon, but her nutritional needs are being met pretty much solely by her mommy. Everyone knows that breast milk is best for the baby, but I have found some awesome, tangible benefits for me as well.

Losing that baby fat: I’m proud to report that I have lost all 55 pounds (yes, you read that correctly) that I gained while pregnant with Maddie. What have I done to lose this weight? I attribute pretty much 100% of my weight loss to breastfeeding. Nursing burns an average of 500 calories per day. How cool is that? I’m nursing Maddie generally twice during the day since her daycare is across the street from me. The distance to her daycare isn’t far, but I do feel like the extra walking makes a difference. And one more big factor in losing the weight has to do with my diet. We have strong suspicians that Maddie has a dairy allergy (that’s cow’s milk, not the same as human milk). We feel that she has benefited greatly from me cutting dairy from my diet. This was a huge adjustment, but as a result Gabe and I are both eating healthier. I’m positive that this has also contributed to my weight loss. I miss cheese sometimes, but the sacrifice is well worth it. I wouldn’t have had the willpower to make such drastic changes to my diet if I didn’t believe it had such huge benefits to my daughter.

Bonding with my baby: It didn’t take very long with round-the-clock feedings for me to bond with my daughter. I’m her Mommy, and there is no substitute. This can be frustrating at times (like when I wish that Gabe could comfort her), but it’s also the sweetest thing in the world. Maddie and I have an amazing bond, and our bond keeps getting better and better. It melts my heart when she spots me and gives me the biggest gummy grins as I come over to the daycare to nurse her during the day. She makes happy noises and starts crawling towards me. At night, she wants to be as close to me as possible. No matter how far apart we start, she finds a way to be right next to me, belly to belly. I feel like our bond is so much stronger due to breastfeeding.

Nursing room buddies: At Maddie’s daycare, they have a very nice, soothing nursing room with comfy seating, low lighting, and classical music. Though our schedules often vary, I frequently see the same moms in the nursing room. We don’t always know each other’s names, but we know all the babies by name! The nursing room is a place where we can talk about our problems and triumphs to other moms who understand. Gabe calls them my “boob buddies” as I relay their advice and stories to him. I know that I will miss this community when I’m no longer breastfeeding Maddie during the day. This is a benefit that is special to my workplace, but organizations such as La Leche League would provide similar benefits.

Saving time and money: As long as I’m with Maddie, I don’t have to worry about preparing bottles or other foods. I’m prepared to feed her no matter where we are or what time it is. This is just one less thing that we have to worry about when we’re running errands or visiting with friends. In the middle of the night, I don’t even have to get out of bed to prepare a bottle (even before we were co-sleeping, Gabe would bring her to me for feedings in the middle of the night). When Maddie is hungry, I can almost immediately see to her needs. As for the expense, I’ve seen estimates that claim that we are saving about $2000 in formula costs. Considering Maddie’s possible allergies, those savings could be even higher. I have seen that the low allergen formulas are even more expensive!

Before having Maddie, I was critical of the family bed. I didn’t think it was a good idea for the child’s safety or for their independence. I thought that toddlers and older children in the bed was crazy. I thought that once you started putting the baby in the bed, they were going to continue to want to sleep there indefinitely. I thought that babies would not be safe. I thought that the baby needed to learn how to sleep on their own and to self soothe, and I felt that co-sleeping would not foster these needs. I felt that co-sleeping would adversely affect the marriage. Personally, I was worried about my night terrors and how that could compromise the baby’s safety.

I said that we were NOT going to be cosleepers. Even three months after Maddie was born, I can still remember uttering the following phrase, “I know for a FACT that we will NOT cosleep.” Oops!

What I did not expect was a baby who would not sleep in her crib. What I did not expect was a baby who could often only be soothed by Mommy. I asked friends in the early days, “how did you get your baby to sleep in their crib?” They would respond with things like, “we just put him in the crib, and he slept there” or “once we put her in her crib, she slept even better and even slept through the night.” It’s been almost 6 months, and believe me, we’ve tried. We have tried putting her in the crib wide awake. We’ve tried the drowsy-but-not-asleep thing. We’ve tried putting her in the crib completely zonked. Getting her to fall asleep hasn’t been the biggest issue, but getting her to stay asleep has been a major issue. Currently, she will sleep in her crib for less than 2 hours at a time on average. No, she’s not waking up because she’s hungry (sometimes she is, but I don’t think that’s the problem). Yes, she wakes up and cries. No, letting her cry is not going to work for us (that’s another post for another day). We have tried for hours to try to get her back to sleep in her crib. We’ll rock her to sleep, put her in the crib, and then less than a minute later she’s wide awake and mad. Sometimes just getting her near the perimeter of her crib is enough to set off her alarm system.

Our original plan was to use the bassinet portion of the pack-n-play in our bedroom until she was waking less frequently for feedings and such. We figured that she would be in our room two or three months, and then we’d move her to her fancy crib in her beautifully decorated nursery. We only recently stopped using the bassinet since she was learning to crawl and sit on her own. About a month or so before she moved to her crib, we started letting her sleep in the bed through part of the night. It was just too much for us to get her back to sleep in the bassinet.

Now, she goes to bed in the crib for the first part of the night. She sleeps for an hour or two. Rarely, she sleeps for 3 hours. About the time that we are getting ready to go to bed, she wakes up and joins us. This isn’t how we planned it, but this is working for us. Everyone is getting better sleep this way. And you know what? We like it. That’s right, we like sleeping with our baby in our bed. We’re working on making the bed as safe as possible. We removed the padded mattress cover, we put a twin bed mattress on the floor next to our bed, and we ordered a Snug Tuck Pillow. We’ve read advice from Dr. Sears. We’re not overweight, on drugs, or under the influence of alcohol. Maddie is a strong baby and has been advanced with her gross motor milestones. I’m still unsure about how I would feel about sleeping with a newborn, but I feel comfortable with a baby Maddie’s age. I still have concerns about whether we’re doing the right thing at times, but we’re doing the best we can. We feel like it is safe, and we feel like it is the right solution to our sleep issues.

Snuggling up with Maddie is just about the sweetest experience that I can imagine. Breastfeeding through the night is effortless. Gabe has witnessed firsthand me not even waking up to feed Maddie. I no longer wake up in the middle of the night in a panic, wondering whether the baby is alright. I know Maddie is happier. She loves being close to her Mommy. If she isn’t right next to me when we go to sleep, she quickly finds a way to get herself as close to me as possible! No matter how fast asleep she is, she senses if I leave the bed for a few minutes. It’s very sweet. Some mornings I wake up and she has a hand on my chest and a leg over my belly. We have even been able to sleep in a few times together – this weekend we slept until 9:30am! Too bad we have to get up early for work during the week… We are all getting more sleep (especially Gabe!).

So, there you have it. I was wrong about co-sleeping. I admit it. We have a family bed, and we like it. For the time being, we are happy with our solution. If Maddie starts sleeping longer in her crib, then great! If not, then we’re happy with that, too. I’m not worried about future transitions. We’ll cross that bridge when we’re all ready for it.