I’ve been reading some Cruise Critic boards, getting some last minute advice on cruising with a toddler. I find it very annoying the number of people giving “advice” who have no experience with cruising with toddlers. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at the unsolicited parenting advice that brave posters receive in response to asking questions about cruising with little ones. It still makes me angry.
I’ve learned a few things in the past 14 months. I think the biggest lesson that I have learned is that I don’t know what it is like for another family. I had enough preconceived notions about what my child would be like and what my parenting would be like before I was even pregnant to realize how wrong I was to judge other people’s parenting.
Following is some of the “advice” that I have seen from unhelpful, rude, and uninformed posters (and my comments about it):
In answer to the title of your post – IMO “yes”.
This was in response to a poster who said, “Am I crazy?” with regards to taking a toddler on a cruise – the entirety of the response. How is this a helpful reply? True, perhaps the original poster opened herself up to this type of criticism, but this really seems like a worthless response to me.
I hate to say it but YES!! I have seen many miserable parents on a cruise. It is too much money to be miserable. When you are out of your routine and element then they tend to be cranky. They don’t usually like the beach yet.
So, this person claims that they have seen miserable parents on cruises. This is slightly more helpful than the last response, but it still isn’t all that helpful. Why were they miserable? Did the parents have realistic expectations? Did they think that they could drop their toddler off at the childcare services all day and were mistaken? Did they think that they could take their non-potty trained toddler for a swim in the pool? Did they expect to do everything they would have wanted to do without kids? It’s not the same as cruising without kids, obviously, and one has to have realistic expectations. The parents have to make a judgment call on whether or not their child will be able to handle being out of routine. They are the ones to decide if a “working vacation” is worth the trouble and expense. Most of all, they have to realize that yes, this is a “working vacation.” If you want to go on a cruise with a toddler, you’re not going to be relaxing by the pool, sipping margaritas all day. The same responsibilities you have at home will be true but to a greater extent on the vacation with unfamiliar places and hazards and uncontrollable changes to the schedule.
I would leave her with Grandma and get spoiled while you and your husband go on the cruise and get spoiled.
I can’t tell you how many times I see people who say “leave your child with grandparents and go by yourselves.” Everyone is different, but if someone is asking about taking their child, have you ever considered that they WANT to take their child with them on vacation? Or perhaps they have NO OTHER OPTIONS. Personally, we have no interest in leaving Maddie with anyone overnight at this point in her life (nor it is a possibility with our sleep issues). If we’re going on a vacation, she’s going with us. Furthermore, while she’s on vacation with us, we want to spend time with her. When we go on our cruise in September, my parents and sister and brother-in-law will be there. We may or may not get a few hours here and there to ourselves, but for the most part, we expect to be spending time with our daughter. Even if she was officially old enough for “kids’ club,” there’s no way that I’d leave her with strangers on a boat with who knows what qualifications. She’s too young. The same goes for the in cabin babysitting services. I don’t trust many people I do know with my daughter…why would I leave her in the hands of a complete stranger with dubious qualifications?
Frankly, it sounds like it might be time to pop her off the nipple (figuratively). I’ve generally found that children who don’t do well without their parents are that way because their parents never let them go.
The original poster expressed that she did not expect to use the kids’ camp services for her two year old, stating that she stays at home with her child and that she’s not accustomed to being in the care of strangers. She specifically was soliciting advice from people who had cruised with young children in the past, and this is one of the responses that she gets? Ridiculous. She did NOT ask for parenting advice, she asked for advice from experienced parents who had cruised with their toddlers. I can’t believe how rude that this person was to respond in this way.
I think, as others have said, if you can stand to have her right up on you 24/7 then take her. The only part of this I see is selfish is having your friends babysit because the child has such stranger/separation anxiety that she cannot be left in Camp Carnival. I love my friends to death, and love their kids, but there is NO WAY, NO WAY, did I mention NO WAY I would take time out of a trip I had to pay for out of my pocket to watch their kids–not even for a minute!! Especially if it was because the kid has separation anxiety (which is taught btw, children aren’t born with it). That being said, there are some parents who want to be with their kids 24/7 (though I guess that is not you since you want the friends to babysit), and power be to them, but I personally cannot fathom taking a 2 year old on a cruise, especially one who absolutely could not leave my side. Where is God’s name is the relaxation in that???? However, if you want to go for a non R&R trip and can leave the babysitting friends aside (it is not their responsibility to ensure you have alone time, no matter how much they say “they don’t mind, really”) and can spend 24/7 with your daughter, then hey, it is YOUR money, do with it as you will.
What the heck is wrong with these people??? This is in response to the same post above where the original poster asked for advice from experienced parents. She stated that they were traveling with friends – they aren’t asking the friends to babysit, the parents will take turns to hang out with the kid individually while the other joins the friends. And seriously with the separation anxiety – it’s a developmental milestone. All kids go through separation anxiety. It’s a healthy part of their development. I see no reason to push their limits when on a cruise. The original poster sounded like they had very reasonable expectations. She did not once complain about the fact that she would be with her daughter at all times. She just made it clear what her expectations were going to be – for the most part, they would be with their 2-year-old constantly. She was a little apprehensive, but she wasn’t seeking attacks on her parenting. I’m sure she would welcome positive or negative advice from those who actually have cruised with small children. Unfortunately, many decided to criticize her parenting based on a few, small details about her upcoming vacation.
Sounds like it would be a great vacation with the little one………NOT!!
May I suggest you leave her at home to get used to being away from you so you can enjoy some time alone and not subject others in the dining room to her whining and tantrums.
Another “leave your kid at home” post that’s also a bit rude. I know that not everyone is courteous about their kids’ tantrums, but if Maddie is unhappy in the dining room, she will be taken outside. We expect things to not go smoothly every moment, and we are prepared to take turns eating our dinner if necessary. This is another fact about cruising with a young child that we are prepared to accept.
Cruising with an “easy” toddler is one thing, but this one sounds like anything BUT.
This was another poster’s entire response. Um, from the description by the original poster, the toddler in question sounds pretty much like an average toddler. Nobody said that toddlers were easy.
All of those were from the same thread, in addition to some back and forth replies defending the original poster after some of these rude remarks. Fortunately, she was able to get some more helpful replies from people who have done it and loved it. One replied to say that they did it, but that they wouldn’t do it again. It sounds like from their description that they had unrealistic expectations, thinking that they would have “alone” time on the cruise with their spouse. Another traveled with their sister’s kids and was disappointed by the inconvenience posed by having the kids – this may be an issue with how much the parents expected other family members to “help.” Many people replied to say that they have wonderful memories of their family vacations with toddlers. The biggest piece of advice that I hear over and over is to have realistic expectations. I think that is the key. It’s not for everyone, but not everyone wants the same thing out of cruising. On our last cruise, one of the ladies on the cruise had a four-figure bar tab (she bragged about it). Every time we saw her, she was extremely drunk. Obviously, her goals with a cruise are quite a bit different than ours! I was pregnant on the cruise, but even if I wasn’t, it’s not crazy to think I would have gone the entire cruise without a single drink. We were more likely to be up before 8am (despite the fact that we’re NOT morning people) than we were to stay up past midnight. Just because you want to party for a week doesn’t mean that everyone else has the same agenda. Anyway, that’s not really the point of the post. I was just annoyed by the types of responses that people were getting and wanted to vent!
Since joining the library, I have been checking out a bunch of books. I had been intending to read the Shopaholic series and had bought the first book a few months ago. Considering how quickly I anticipated that I would read this series (and that Gabe most certainly will NOT read these), I decided that they would be perfect to get from the library. The Shopaholic series had a little waiting list, so I signed up for a few more of Sophie Kinsella’s books while I waited. I’ve been in the mood to read some fluff!
