KerryAndGabe.com

I’m not sure that I have blogged about this previously, but some recent shoe shopping has had me thinking about writing about Maddie’s underdeveloped foot. She has been seeing a specialist since birth (well, or as early as one can get an appointment with a specialist).

In the hospital, the nurse practitioner said to us in a serious tone, “there’s something that I have to show you.” I cannot describe how I felt in that moment. I had not even held my baby girl yet, so I was already wondering what was wrong with her - is she breathing? Is her heart beating? Why am I not holding my sweet baby in my arms right now??

I couldn’t see her. I couldn’t see the issue with my baby’s foot. At first, the nurse thought that Maddie had webbed toes. It was initially disappointing, but webbed toes really aren’t a big deal. We had multiple doctors examine her while she was in the hospital. By the second visit, we determined it was more serious than webbed toes. Does she have bones in her toes? Will she be able to walk and run and jump and play like all the other girls and boys? Did I do something during my pregnancy to cause this? I cried and cried. Ten little fingers and ten little toes, that’s what my baby is supposed to have. Maddie’s toes on her left foot were different. Some appeared to be perfectly normal, and the rest were a bit of a mess. It was difficult to tell what the issue was as she was a tiny newborn. We would learn more in the coming months.

Her first visit to the specialist was reassuring but brought on more anxiety at the same time. Will she need surgery? Is one of her legs shorter than the other? Oh gosh, I never even considered that. The specialist didn’t think so but said it is impossible to tell for sure until she’s bigger. A difference of 5% would be significant but difficult to detect with little baby legs. The doctor felt that she would have normal function, but of course he cannot make guarantees, only predictions. Her left foot has both congenital (fancy term for present at birth) hypoplasia (fancy term for underdevelopment) and syndactyly (fancy term for fused digits). Her specialist sees many foot malformations every day, but he said it would be several years before he saw another case like hers. In a moment of mild exasperation, I asked, “why did it have to happen to my baby?” and the doctor replied, “it’s a miracle that everything forms correctly the majority of the time.” This is a thought that has stuck with me since that appointment. The creation of a tiny human is pretty amazing - it’s incredible that all of the cells line up so perfectly most of the time.

The good news is that Maddie’s foot malformations are far less serious than many others. At this point, we have no indications that she has any other systemic issues, such as a shorter leg, which would be more serious. Her heel and ankle seem to work properly. Her orthopaedist has expressed that this is more important than any of the toes. Presumably, the big toe is the most important, and her big toe seems to be smaller, but normal. Each appointment that we have had with her specialist give us more confidence that her issues will be merely aesthetic. The doctor predicts that her biggest problem will likely be that she has to wear two different sized shoes. In the grand scheme of things, this is truly not a big deal. I hate that it is something that she will have to deal with throughout her life, but if this is her worst problem, then we’re pretty darn lucky.

Maddie’s little foot has not seemed to hinder her motor development in any way. She started crawling before she was 5 months old. She started pulling up to a standing position within the next month and cruising not long after that. She was walking before her first birthday, and now at 14 months, she gets around very well. Her early mobility seemed to say, “see, look, I’m fine, now stop worrying about me!” Most of the time, we don’t think about it at all.

The biggest challenge that we have had has been finding shoes for her. This has been VERY frustrating! We are currently trying to find shoes for her, and I went to Stride Rite the other day to measure her feet. Her feet are currently sized 3 and 4.5, so they recommend getting sizes 3.5 and 5. Well, sizes 3 and 3.5 are typically pre-walker sizes while 5 is a toddler size. This poses a problem as many, if not most, styles are not available in both of these sizes. They had exactly one pair of shoes to offer me at Stride Rite. Many other toddler shoes don’t offer half sizes, so we have bought sizes 3, 4, and 5 (if they even carry all 3 sizes for one style) and hoped that we would be able use 2/3rds of them. Of course, her right foot can fit into some 4s now, but will outgrow that size very soon. Her left foot fits comfortably into a 3, especially since it is much narrower than the average foot. Her left foot may not fit into a 4 before her right foot outgrows the 5, so I’m not sure that this is our answer either.

The specialist has said that her feet will likely grow proportionately, which means that the difference in size will likely get bigger over time (in proportion to her feet). I feel like it’s important for her to wear shoes that fit each foot properly while she is young, but maybe when she gets older we’ll be able to get inserts made for her smaller foot?

So, it’s disappointing that there are so many cute toddler shoes out there, but we can’t find many to fit our little girl. It’s disappointing to have to pay twice as much for shoes (though some places, like Stride Rite, do offer discounts if your child has two different sized feet - it’s still more expensive than one regular pair). The selection is limited, at best. We can’t really take hand-me-downs from others or even pass her hand-me-downs to friends or siblings. The best hope that I have is that it will soon be fashionable to wear two completely different shoes. Punky Brewster, anyone?

Every once in a while, I get upset about her little foot. But then I try to remember how incredibly lucky we are to have such a beautiful, precocious little girl. She brings so much joy to us every day. I read many Mommy (and Daddy) blogs, and I see the other real hardships that other families have with their children. I realize how fortunate we are, and I am so very grateful that shoe shopping is the worst of our problems.

Possibly related posts (automatically generated):

• Cute Maddie Conversation
  You know that this was coming, but you didn't know it would happen so soon. That's right. I'm posting about...
• More cute Maddie photos in the photo calendar
  The photo calendar has been updated for October and the first four days of November. Maddie continues to be cute,...
• The Sunday Somethings, May 10
  Others writing The Sunday Somethings: Audrey Something that made me smile this week: When I asked Maddie, "where is your...

Posted by kerry on Friday, May 1st, 2009 at 5:41am.
Categories: life.