Doorknob Bob and Me
April 10th, 2007
So, we started with the easy phobia…spiders. Now we’ll move on to another phobia of mine that I’m guessing is far less common. Doorknobs. I know what you’re thinking. It’s a germ thing, right? I’m afraid of touching doorknobs because they are germy! Nope, that’s not it (though thank you for pointing it as now I have more reasons to be afraid). The real reason is that they are going to shock me. And yes, I know your next question is “just in the dry weather or near plush carpeting?” Oh, no. This phobia is not limited to ideal static electricity conditions…it’s a persistent fear that causes some level of anxiety every single time I have a need to open a door. It seems like there should be a name for this one, but I have not found it. Feel free to comment on this post with naming suggestions. Just think of the number of people that you could help in giving a name to this phobia! I’ve counted at least two of us. Doorknob Bob and me. According to the blurb about the comic book, the writer has “been bombarded with letters from people across the country telling me that they too are afraid of doorknobs.” Certainly, there are many others too embarrassed to come forward with their fears.
If you doubt my seriousness in the matter, ask Gabe. He’s gotten somewhat used to the whole thing where we approach a door and I slow down to let him ahead of me. It’s humorous sometimes as he slows down, too, and doesn’t know what I’m doing or why I’m being slow…I’m just trying to get him to open the door. Not that I want him to be chivalrous, but I’m terrified of touching the door handle because it will shock me. If you were to observe me, you would see that I do some weird things sometimes when approaching doors like slap the handle before grabbing it to open the door (the “rip the band-aid quickly to get it over with” approach) or kicking it with my rubber soled shoes first (everyone knows you need to be properly grounded to prevent electrocution – safety first!). Sometimes, I try to insulate my hands from the bare metal with shirt sleeves. Logically, I know that this is not likely to provide much protection, but it’s better than nothing, right?
A friend of mine noted my static electricity fear and obsession when she reminded me that I informed her just recently, “You shocked me once” as though it were intentional. Clearly, she could have avoided this malicious act with the proper precautions. She admitted that she even felt guilty for a moment as not only did my statement indicate that the static shock was avoidable but that it was also directional. That SHE had shocked me. When she pointed this out, I agreed that her actions were quite antagonistic. Some friend, eh? Hrm, something tells me that might not have been her point…
April 11th, 2007 at 7:03 am
It appears there is an actual electricity phobia, and it is called “Electrophobia.” Ok, it isn’t specifically related to static electricity, but it’s probably close enough.
Hey, you can always buy yourself an electroscope or electrometer; they can identify the presence of charge on an object. Nice pictures of the former here: http://www.ece.rochester.edu/~jones/demos/electroscope.html.
However, once you start carrying an electroscope around, your phobia may abate, but certain paranoid tendencies increase (when people start looking oddly at you). heh.
Oh, and btw… The way I remember it, YOU shocked ME.